When I signed up for the hill tribe trek in Thailand, I had not expected to walk across a tree used as the only "bridge" to the other side of the wide, running stream. Joyfully skipping along, singing "The Happy Wanderer," I turned the bend and emerged from the tree-lined trail to a vast opening. Startled at the challenge that greeted my eyes, I gasped. "This can't be the only way to cross that gulch," I nervously laughed. But no one eased my fear. I knew I had to do it--ready or not. I'm guessing the log stretched the width of a two-lane highway and about 15 feet above the streambed. I could be off on my calculations but I know it was scary and that, if I slipped, I could be seriously injured. The guide saw the panic on my face and reached out to escort me. I froze--all I could think of was falling off that log. Then in a flash I remembered to focus on the outcome I wanted to achieve rather than what I was afraid might happen. Burdened with a heavy backpack and all my fears, I gripped his fingers, locked my gaze on his sure feet and slowly edged step-by-step across the log, thinking only positive thoughts to bolster my weak belief that this crossing was possible. I repeated a mantra over and over, all is well; I can do this. Approaching the other side, with a total sigh of relief and a sense that I was safe, I let my breath out and relaxed. As I stepped off the log, I placed my foot on a slippery, slanted rock and slid onto my back with my other leg still hugging the tree. Quickly realizing I was fine, we all burst into smiles. Laughter intensified when a young native tribe member carrying a large wicker basket of banana leaves scurried barefoot past me. She added an interesting perspective to my ordeal. She obviously had done this for many lifetimes. To her it was effortless, like walking on the trail; to me I just as well could have been traversing a tight rope. As I continued along the path my thoughts were again consumed with the fear of whats next? I wondered if there would be something even worse ahead. I started worrying and focusing on my foot steps, trying to avoid sliding on the slippery banana leaves when I suddenly tripped over a tree knot secretly covered by the large leaf. My awareness shifted to my thoughts that I had lost confidence once again as I was focusing on the leaves and on falling rather than the path straight ahead. Just ten minutes later, the trek was over and we were climbing into the shuttle to head back to our starting point. I have since realized how this obstacle--a log--is similar to the obstacles we face in our everyday lives. Ive noticed that when we focus on the challenge, whether it is not enough business, financial debt, a relationship disaster or traffic conditions, etc., we tend to see the results as we pictured and feared them to be. But instead when we fix our attention on the result we want, we experience the positive outcome we had anticipated. I successfully navigated the log almost to the end by changing my fearful thoughts to visualizing confidence and success. In the end, my desire to be done with it, hastened my step and I lost my focus and fell. So how might you change your fear into feeling confident? A good place to start is to pay attention to what you focus your attention on. In other words, pay attention to what you pay attention to. Is it on the obstacle or on the desired result? Where you concentrate your energy will bring about results. Positive or negative, you will get what you focus on. So, you can just as easily focus on what you want as opposed to what you dont want. For me that translated to focusing on getting to the other side safely. I also suggest that you notice when you near the finish line or approach a breakthrough if it stops you in your tracks, delays the progress, creates a temporary detour or causes you to give up altogether. Even though turning back was not an option for me, I seriously did want to find a different route. But isnt it interesting that after three days of hiking, I was just 10 minutes from the finish. How disappointed I would have been if I could have taken a different route! I wonder what would happen if we just "act as if" when we dont have the confidence to follow through. How would that change our lives and what doors would it open? I invite you to experiment with everyday obstaclesthe little and not-so-little. To look at the obstacles and consider what might occur if you went around them, over them or through them instead of letting them stop you in your tracks. What would happen if you assumed you could handle whatever came your way? As you practice with the little challenges, you will be surprised at how your courage muscle strengthens, much like your body would strengthen if you continually exercised it. Then I would encourage you to get the support you need (a friend, a coach, the guide within you or a therapist whatever it takes). Just as the guide grasped my hand ever so lightly to give me the confidence and support I needed, your guide can help you find the inner strength to courageously transcend the obstacles that would otherwise hold you back. |
