Ive generally thought that unconditional love means a sort of blissful unawareness of the loved objects faults. Meaning, we just dont see the problems, so its easy to love constantly and consistently. After learning more about the nature of love, Ive changed my mind. Now, I would define unconditional love as: Continuing to love a person even when you dont like them very much. I find this hard to do. The only way I can do it at all is by knowing what Love is. Love is defined in the Bible as God Himself. God is love, says I John, and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. But the writer doesnt just leave us there. He includes a test that reveals whether we understand this lesson: If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also. Were actually required to love each other if were claiming to love God or if we want to feel Gods love for us. Theres no getting around it. The question then becomes, How do we love when people are being decidedly unlovable? For me, it helps to remember that Love is divine Spirit, wholly perfect and omnipresent, and that Love is indeed the Creator of the universe including each one of us. When Im thinking along these lines, it becomes clearer that those whom I would love are emanations of that Love. This means that whatever unlovable traits the person is showing externally arent the final word on who they are as an expression of Love. Sometimes Ill come face-to-face with a moment when I realize I have to love unconditionally *right then.* Its like time stands still and I have a choice to make. And no matter whats happening, I can choose to love with understanding rather than react with anger or impatience. A while back, my middle-school son did this for me. I was upset and being very verbal about it. He kept quiet as I spewed. He told me later, though, that hed realized there was nothing else he could do but love me. He said that no matter what I said, he was thinking, I love you, Mom. Were learning together, he and I. I love the poetry of this passage from Mary Baker Eddy's Science and Health: Human affection is not poured forth vainly, even though it meet no return. Love enriches the nature, enlarging, purifying, and elevating it. The wintry blasts of earth may uproot the flowers of affection, and scatter them to the winds; but this severance of fleshly ties serves to unite thought more closely to God, for Love supports the struggling heart until it ceases to sigh over the world and begins to unfold its wings for heaven. It seems like Ive been learning about Love my whole life, but theres always more to learn and explore and demonstrate. My mission now? To put unconditional love into practice every day. |