When you are facing an issue where you have a lack of self confidence, how much of the picture can you really see? I bet it's not much at all. While you may think you see the whole picture clearly, my experiences tell me otherwise.

Most of the time when we lack confidence, the only thing we see is the negative side of the issue (or the part that is causing us the anxiety and problems).

Next time you are facing a scenario where you lack confidence, take a moment to stop and analyze what is really happening.

Take time to:

1. Notice what thing/s you are focusing on.
2. Notice which area/s are taking your confidence away from you.
3. Notice what other issues/areas of this scenario are present but you were not initially aware of.
4. Find the positive/s of this issue.
5. Find the negative/s of this issue.
6. Try to take a different angle than your original view.

Rather than zooming right into the area/s which cause you the most discomfort and lack of self confidence, take a step back and take a good look at the whole picture. You will open up more possibilities, rather than going along with the one and only painful choice you thought existed.

You will be able to analyze the situation and have a choice rather than be forced to act upon the painful option that was first available. The more you analyze, the more you will be able to see both positive and negative sides to the scenario and have the freedom to choose which path you prefer to take. This in itself will give you a huge confidence boost.

Before we continue on, let me just say that while all this is very simple in theory, it's much more difficult to achieve all this in real life situations, but it is possible. The more you work at it, the more you will be able to remove yourself from the feeling of no confidence to choosing a more pleasing option to help you build self confidence quickly.

Remember, every situation has both positive and negative points. By taking a step back and pausing, you will be able to identify them and then have the power to choose which one to take.

Most of the time, we feel so pressurized into situations and believe we only have one option when confronted with a situation that gives us a lack of self confidence.

Here is my own personal example of this, which happened just recently.

I have a female friend who I totally respect and admire. She is a very powerful and influential person in her community and a successful business woman. We have been out together on a few occasions and had great times together. Yet, today, I had the urge to ask her out on a date.

Now at first I was a little intimidated and therefore could feel my confidence dropping. So I took a few seconds to pause, take a step back and weighed up the pros and cons of the situation.

Not long after, I came to the conclusion that I would call her and make a light joke about asking her out so I wouldn't be so intimidated and actually have some confidence in my voice.

The complete conversation went like this:

The phone rings.

The girl: Hello

Me: Hi, how you going?

The girl: Hi, good thanks, u?

Me: Great. Where are you, I can hear a bit of noise.

The Girl: I'm at the restaurant, getting some signs put in.

Me: Wow, already? You are a workaholic aren't you?

The Girl: Yes, I am.

Me: You need some time off. When do you have some free time?

The Girl: I'm free on the weekend.

Me: OK, I'll take you out on a date to give you some time off.

The Girl: Where are you going to take me?

Me: The movies, ok?

The Girl: Sure.

Me: OK, I'll call you on Friday to confirm ok?

The Girl: Ok, speak with you then, bye.

Me: Bye.

As you can see, the conversation was short and to the point, but by changing the focus a little from focusing on my lack of confidence to things about her, such as:

"You are a workaholic"

and adding some humor such as, "You need some time off"

By doing this I was able to bypass the feeling of no confidence and still deal with the matter and ask her out on a date with confidence and with some authority in my voice.

You will be surprised how you can feel and what you can achieve by taking that step back to look for better or more comfortable ways to perform the same tasks.