Watching televisions sitcoms, I cant help but notice that most of the plots revolve around the same theme someone being afraid to tell someone else the truth. We saw it in the years that Ross loved Rachel, that Niles loved Daphne, or that George hated Susan. We saw it in virtually every episode of Threes Company. Why do we keep the truth from people? Usually its for one of the following reasons (or a combination): we dont want to hurt someones feelings, were afraid the other person will be angry with us or we dont want to be embarrassed. What are the main consequences of not speaking up and telling the hard truth? It keeps us stuck in unfulfilling situations like jobs, relationships and other life circumstances. Here are some others: ~ Someone thinks you understand something you dont ~ Someone thinks youve agreed with something you havent ~ Someone thinks youre going to do something and youre not ~ Someone thinks you did something and you didnt ~ Someone doesnt know you love them and you do ~ Someone thinks you love them and you dont ~ Someone doesnt know what youre capable of ~ Someone thinks youre capable of something youre not How do you know when its time to tell the hard truth? From that first nagging feeling in your stomach that something about the situation is not right. Because theres no bad time to tell the hard truth. 5 ways that telling the hard truth is good for your self-care: 1. You deepen your relationships. Social support is a very important element of self-care. When you assume someone can handle hearing the hard truth, they usually rise to your expectations. When you learn to tell the hard truth in a relationship you can be yourself in that relationship. 2. You lose the stress. Hiding the truth and/or living a lie is very stressful! Telling the hard truth is the antidote. 3. You feel better about yourself. When youve done something courageous like telling someone the hard truth, youre sending yourself the message that maybe you can do OTHER hard things. 4. You create evidence that your own thoughts make you suffer look at an experience where you told the hard truth and notice that it was the anticipation of telling that created your worry and stress. Things that hadnt happened and may never happen, things you were creating in your own mind. And the reality rarely lives up to our feared expectations. 5. You can learn from the hard truth. Has someone told you a hard truth? Use it as a way of deepening your relationship or to improve something about the situation or yourself. Thank the person and recognize their courage for telling the hard truth. Who do you need to tell a hard truth? What hard truths have you been avoiding telling yourself? (c) Copyright 2005, Genuine Coaching Services. |
