How clich and hurtful to hear the phrase I love you, but Im not in love with you. Its a crock. Its a noble attempt for the speaker to feel good about ending a relationship. They say this to ease their own pain and to make themselves feel like they bowed out gracefully. Its bull. Theres usually something else going on and the recipient usually feels a loss and at fault. You are either loved or youre not. Thats the bottom line. So which is it? The recipient struggles to find out and enters the darkest of hours searching their heart and soul trying to find out.

It hurts to hear similar phrases. The recipient feels that there may be a chance if they are still loved in any fashion. They may also have found guilt in themselves for many different reasons. They will rationalize their own behavior and lay the entire blame on themselves. Its a natural instinct to do so, but it is so unfair. The recipient will go through many phases of emotions; hurt, remorse, anger, and the list goes on and on. This dark moment can disrupt their lives and cause so much harm. They will go through a period where they cant eat, sleep, and function properly in their daily activities. Why? They are still in love.

The emotional roller coaster is relentless. The best advice for this person who is hurting is to share their thoughts and feelings with family, friends and trusted co-workers. Dont keep it bottled up inside. Keeping it to oneself with only intensify the lasting effects. Its difficult to be strong in such a situation, and the person hurting can not do it alone. Support is the best way to easy the pain, even if the person feels like a failure or embarrassed over the particulars of the failing relationship.

The most important thing is to go through the emotions. Let it all hang out, so to speak. Whether in private or among trusted individuals, just let it out. Its amazing what kind of relief you can have by sharing your thoughts and true emotions. Break down and cry. Shout if you want. It doesnt matter. Just get it out. Its part of the healing stage.

Denial is a natural feeling also, but there will come a time when true reality kicks in. Its a state of mind. How you vent that denial or accept it will determine your next course. Its also a part of the healing stage or acceptance. There is no right way or wrong way to do this, but you will come to the point where anger kicks in.

Dont let thoughts of revenge rule your state of mind. Its so easy to find ways to seek revenge. Its a natural defense, but its not worth it. Remember, you are much better than that. Dont allow yourself to stoop to a level that you will later regret. Try your best to be yourself. Dont do anything out of the norm, whether you have accepted the end of the relationship or have decided to sit back and see what happens. Be an adult and one day you will be proud of the way you handled you the situation.

The one thing you can do is reassure yourself that you did nothing wrong. Your partner had the obligation of communication. If something was wrong, they should have spoken up. They would have done this if they truly loved you. Thats not much consolation in your time of grief, but its the truth.

If you and your partner can work through this dark moment in your relationship, then thats a victory that will forever create a bond that will be so difficult to break. It will prove to build a stronger relationship than you ever have imagined. Sometimes it takes a traumatic moment in our lives to acquire a solid foundation. We make think we have it but the test of time and lifes trials will prove whether or not we can build that sort of foundation.

Its going to hurt your heart and soul, but if it was meant to be, it will. Have faith. There is always a purpose in life and we may never understand it at that the time, but someday we will.

Patience is the worst part. Its a virtue that will pay off in the end, no matter the outcome of your ordeal, whether you believe it or not.

The grass is always greener on the other side, and its natural to want to purchase a gallon of Round-Up and kill it. Have patience. Crab grass can grow everywhere but its the weed and feed that builds that everlasting strong relationship.